| Red Skelton on Marriage |
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great one liner's from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more :RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas 3. I take my wife everywhere.... but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6.She has an electric blender, electric toaster and an electric bread maker.She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.' 8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!' 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months,I don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though.My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?' I said, 'Dust!' Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it........ these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, 'God Bless.' |
